Everyone has two stories; the one they want you to know, and the one they don’t. On the left is the story most individuals are a familiar with, a cute girl in her twenties taking a narcissistic selfie before the gym. On the right is a story most individuals do not identify with unless they are privy or involved with the adult baby community. What is an adult baby? While the label may seem self-explanatory, the label goes much deeper than one would think. Widely, misunderstood, an adult baby syndrome is a sexual fetish in which the participant role-plays regression to an infant-like state by drinking from a baby bottle, sleeping in an oversized crib, playing in a playpen and wearing diapers.
Before the 1970s many adult babies did not know other adult babies existed. In the early 70’s, an actor by the name of Kent Perry cultivated a letter-based ADBL community of several hundred by posting advertisements in several newspapers and adult magazines. In the mid 70’s, Fetish Times conducted a survey to discover the most popular fetishes of its readers. The editors were “shocked” to discover that the second most popular fetish was infantilism, beat out only by BDSM. The following issue featured adult babies as the centerfold and brought more awareness to the adult baby community. Growing, tremendously by the early 1990s “Baby Week” became the first publicized adult baby event held in San Francisco.
Almost, twenty-eight years since the first publicized adult baby event, there are still many negative feelings towards the adult baby community. While adult baby syndrome does have an exact definition, one definition does not fit all adult babies! Just like one person cannot represent an entire race of people in the same way one adult baby cannot represent all adult babies! Firstly, not everyone, who enjoys wearing diapers without a medical need can be categorized as an adult baby. Overlapping, are individuals, who refer to themselves as diaper lovers. Diaper lovers are individuals, who enjoy wearing diapers without engaging in the infant-like behavior. Often times, diaper lovers and adult babies worlds collide, and these individuals will be referred to as ABDLs (adult baby diaper lovers).
Understanding, the adult baby community might seem strange, because it is not socially acceptable. Naturally, as humans, we judge anything, which is not considered “normal”. Obviously, adults wearing diapers without a medical need is beyond weird to the average individual. For this reason, adult babies shamefully hide or live a double life. However, I have come across adult babies, who are not affected by societal norms, and proudly show off their diaper. Inspiring, the younger generation of adult babies, individuals like John Michael Williams ( tykables store owner) probably do not even realize the positive impact he has made. Opening, an adult baby store back in 2016, John Michael help initiate long-needed conversations. Sparking, my interest even further, I began interviewing adult babies from different generations. Recently, I interviewed Janet, who has been part of the adult baby community since 1973. Meeting, with Janet, I honestly did not know what to expect. Conversing, back and forth, a few months went by before we mutually decided to physically meet each other.
Choosing, Starbucks as our public meeting place, I did not think Janet would actually show up! Showing, up ten minutes early, Janet had already made herself comfortable. Clearly, nervous, Janet’s calming energy started rubbing off on me. Looking, much different than I envisioned, her Instagram did not do her justice! Spending, almost three hours talking, Janet shared every trial she went through on her adult baby journey. Explaining, how she felt like a freak, and even thought about suicide at times. With limited resources, Janet wondered if she would find an answer as to what caused her feelings towards infantilism. Consistently, doing research, Janet actually attended “Baby Week” in San Francisco. Describing, “Baby Week” as a defining life moment, I could easily relate. Getting, emotional Janet sharing her journey was extremely cathartic.
Until Janet’s mid-twenties, she went through life denying her adult baby side. Back then, Janet said, “she tried self-harming as a way to distract her mind”. Showing, me old scars on her harm, Janet use to cut herself. Having, a past with self-harm, I identified with Janet’s past pain. Letting, Janet know about my past made it less like an interview, and more like two ladies forming a genuine friendship. Appreciating, times like this, I wish other people, who harshly judge adults babies could listen to our vulnerable conversation. Being, like-minded, Janet and I noticed missing elements that could possibly change how society viewed adult’s babies. Blinding, labels wrongfully take away from the person as a whole because the label becomes the core of how that person is perceived. Agreeing, with me, Janet finished my thought by saying,” society tells us we can be who we want to be, but then when we attempt to be those individuals, society tells us being that individual is not socially acceptable.” Stealing, my perfectly formed thoughts, Janet’s articulate spirit was refreshing. Covering, most topics with Janet, there was still one topic, which had been untouched. Navigating, relationships as an adult baby, I was curious as to how Janet brought up her alternative lifestyle.
Marrying, young, Janet’s previous dating experience could be counted on a whole hand. Being, an adult baby was easy to hide in previous relationships, because Janet knew those relationships were truly short flings. Upon, meeting her lifelong partner, Janet never considered letting her two worlds become one. “Aaron was a man, who knew exactly what he wanted, and made it clear as soon as he met me,” said Janet. Pursing, Janet relentlessly, for six solid months had passed before Janet’s guard came down and she agreed to have dinner with Aaron. Nine months after their first date Janet and Aaron were married! “Loving, Aaron my biggest fear was losing him, so I attempted to put my adult baby side to bed”, Said Janet. Attempting, to put her adult baby side to sleep only made Janet’s urge a thousand times worse. Finding, ways to tell her husband without verbally saying those long feared words became like a second job! Pretending, her car keys were missing, Janet would hide baby items in places her husband was likely to look. Thinking, Janet was trying to drop pregnancy hints, Aaron eventually confronted Janet about finding random baby items. Putting, her fear aside, Janet told Aaron about her alternative lifestyle as an adult baby. “Telling, Aaron about being an adult baby was hard, but waiting on his response was harder,” Janet said. Preparing, silently, Janet figured this was the end of their beginning.
Processing, Janet’s confession, Aaron still put Janet first, and reassured Janet he was not going anywhere! Putting, Janet’s mind at ease, Aaron still had many unanswered questions. Temporarily, leaving their living room, Janet went to grab her journal, which contained her documented journey as an adult baby. Returning, a few minutes later, Janet reluctantly gave Aaron her journal. “Giving Aaron my journal was like reliving my wedding day times ten”, Janet said. Occupying, herself while Aaron was busy reading, Janet periodically made sure Aaron was okay. Reading, Janet’s journal relatively quick, Aaron suddenly had more questions. Who would answer those questions?” Deciding, I needed a few drinks, I walked three blocks to our local bar”, Janet said. Drinking, half her weight in alcohol, Janet was about to become the definition of liquid courage. Storming, into her home, Janet ran upstairs and found Aaron sleeping in their tiny guest bedroom. Turning, on the lights, Janet became screaming at Aaron, “SO YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANYMORE?” Firing, back, Aaron jumped out of bed, and charged is chemically compromised wife. Charging, back, Janet and Aaron soon found themselves wrestling on the floor. Overpowering, Janet, Aaron pinned her down and made it very clear she needed to calm down or he would leave. Sobbing, on the floor, Aaron went downstairs. Locating, Aaron in the kitchen based on noises Janet heard, she thought to herself, who could eat after an argument like that? Fixing, Janet a bottle, Aaron recalled reading a journal entry was Janet expressed how a warm bottle puts her in a blissful state. Reentering, the guest bedroom Aaron instructed Janet to get on the bed, still chemically compromised Janet did the best she could. Stumbling, Janet more or less fell on the bed, which was a few feet away. Handing, Janet a warm bottle, Aaron kissed Janet’s forehead, and told her goodnight. Grabbing, Aaron’s arm, Janet pleaded with Aaron to lay beside her. “Cherry, I am not ready to see you indulge as an adult baby”, Aaron said. “Whenever Aaron called me by my nickname, I knew his intentions were pure even if it hurt,” Janet said!” Laying, alone Janet appreciated Aarons sweet gesture, but still physically needed Aaron. “In marriage compromise, communication, and clarity are the three c’s one must not forget”, Janet said. Unfortunately, Janet and I ran out of time, and Janet had to leave. Showing, my gratitude, I gave her a gift, that was adult baby appropriate. Wanting, to know how their story ended Janet wrote me a long descriptive e-mail. In short, Janet and Aaron are still happily married with three cats, two dogs, and one grown baby! Although it took Aaron a while, he eventually warmed up to Janet’s adult baby side; in fact, Aaron even buys Janet printed adult-sized diapers on occasion. Personally, Janet’s story is inspiring, because Janet took a side of herself, that she did not understand, and walked through steps to understand what it means to be an adult baby while still being a productive member of society.
Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you?
– Fanny Brice
My Uncensored Journal 